Thursday, November 29, 2007

Here is the Typical Guy You are Playing in Internet Chess

Without further ado, here is the typical guy you are playing in internet chess [impatient viewers can forward to -9:20 for 'the girl' and -8:20 to -5:30 for a real LOL]:

The second one is even funnier than the first. LOL:


Blogger likesforests said...


"You're pro or you're a noob. That's life" -- Athene

Fri Nov 30, 05:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger Kevin said...

This shit is too funny.

"Giving hunters no dead zone is like giving me a large dick..."


Fri Nov 30, 09:41:00 AM PST  
Blogger chessloser said...

oh my god that is hilarious!!!

i think i've played him on ICC

Fri Nov 30, 11:34:00 AM PST  
Blogger Liquid Egg Product said...


I don't know who's easier to mock, him or the people he's mocking.

You've almost tempted me to run into a RP-server just to see what it's like.

Fri Nov 30, 12:43:00 PM PST  
Blogger Liquid Egg Product said...

Wait a minute...are you saying the guy talking is the typical Internet chess player, or the boyfriend in the background?

Fri Nov 30, 12:55:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

[revised: cf 'men' not 'me' and addendum at bottom]

one or two of our well known bloggers prefered to write me emails instead of respond to THIS guy, saying how negative or awful he was.

as i responded to the most ardently correct of my correspondents:

"Exactly. He is SO negative. But he embodies a type of sociopath, narcissist that is so prevalent in internet chess. I don’t glorify him, but show him.

"Sad in a way. But what type of society have WE that such a person can generate 100,000 views? A most disturbed one. And that is almost funny how narcissistic he is. And disturbed and disjointed."

our society is disIntegrating, following the parallel disIntegration of our environment, and global financial chaos is but a subset of a spiritual problem.

we all want love. we want to succeed. we want a chance. and, as Gurdjieff once said: "Much of art as we know it would not exist without the glorification of negativity.

men need their dads, and daughters need their moms. many of those same fathers and mothers themselves are drowning in media, stress, traffic, competition, and medication and/or alcohol and very few can be high functioning and navigate past the rapids in this game.

that is the real game being played.


thank you likeForest, kevin, and chessloser. thank you also now liquid egg product.

they all are laughing out there, but when the power is shut off in LA, Chicago, or New York (or Peking, Mexico City, or Cairo) no one will be laughing then.

i do not wish for this but it is coming. either by structural collapse, software errors, a broken pole in systemic collapse, or supply chain interuption.

this young man--to me--signifies its approach.

as Gestant Psychologist or le enfant terrible therapist Fritz Perls once said:

"The neurotic is a person who lacks the means of 'self support'". and, it follows that the root cause of our societies fracture is that capital markets grind people with supporting its workers minimal in its heirarchy of needs'. Where is Abraham Maslow now?

warmest, dk

Fri Nov 30, 01:07

Fri Nov 30, 01:14:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

liquid eggs:
good question. i dont mean to be so specific. really it is more like 'it' than they or he, or him.

but, if you insist, its the taunting guy, who outranks you by 250 elo who you just beat, and says: "you really suck, you know that. you cant play for sh_t". the hatred there that is not omnipresent but not unheard of if not disturbing when it occurs.

then the rules. conduct rules that both ICC and FICs give token enforcement to (they really do about as good as can be done within budget or allocable time, im sure) but when real misconduct occurs, you run into stonewalls, since after all customers pay them money and they or have limited budget and cannot bite off the hand that feeds them.

i know, ive complained more than once. :)


and, i can assure you:


Fri Nov 30, 01:20:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Blunderprone said...


I thought I'd post my last email response with you in these comments:

100k views. What does that really say?

Again, i point to the demographics he's pandering to. sub 35 year old male... mostly in the 15-25 age bracket. Living in Mom and Dad's basement playing countless hours of WoW without much regard to life around them. The "social network" of WoW is set up in such a way that one person may have viewed this jack ass and laughed so hard they told thier friends to check out this "dip shit with the *hot* girl"... alas! a few hits are born. Add to this the fact that they all probably feel like they can "take this guy" and his "girl" and live in this fantasy reality perpetuated by narcism, self entitlement and the fight and f*ck ( "young numb and full of cum" as my brother-in-law up in maine calls them) mentality of that gender specific demographic. These F&F males are stuck in this mode because (a) they haven't a clue of how to handle true emotions when faced with conflict, a good woman or fear... instead it propagates as aggression becuase to show vulnerabil ty is a sign of "weakness" in a primal sense. and (b) it's safer to live in the fantasy world of WoW becuase facign life on life's terms is too much.

I try and think back in my F&F days... becasue admittently, i have been there. As i was trying to "prove myself' in the real world, I was manefesting a "tough guy" persona as well as hunkering down ( too young) with one lady. It took a certain life event at age 27 to open my eyes out sde of the agression and adrenaline rush of F&F.

Most of these guys will grow up through natural circumstances, others will take a longer harder path to wake up. Some will never grow up. Look at the likes of "dog" the bounty hunter, or Hulk Hogan... Peter pan syndorme if there ever was one. Perhaps they bring a certain entertainment value to pander to the young male demographics. Money makes the world go around after all.

Each generation looks at teh new one on the rise in horror and surely thinks the word is doomed. Its all part of the generation gap. However, consider this: I'd rather have them beat each other up in WoW rather than street gangs or colonizing antarctica or soemthing ( look back at the history of civilization and you will find great moments of F&F).


Fri Nov 30, 01:37:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

you are completely beautiful and we all love you for you. a treasure.

and now... i must report to my work camp in 15 minutes so must run NOW.

love dk

Fri Nov 30, 01:45:00 PM PST  
Blogger likesforests said...

This is Chiren and Tania Derveaux, a Belgian couple. Tania is anything but typical--she ran for senate. ;)

Sat Dec 08, 11:14:00 PM PST  
Blogger Liquid Egg Product said...

FICS maybe a few sponsors, it's not impossible they may not even be offsetting costs. So perhaps they have even more motivation than ICC to ban or alienate as few users as possible. But as you say, I think they really try to do the best they can.

You're probably better off not trying to fight it. I rarely play online chess, and certainly do not put much stock into online ratings as a true value of my strength.

Mon Dec 10, 11:24:00 AM PST  
Blogger likesforests said...

"So perhaps they have even more motivation than ICC to ban or alienate as few users as possible."

Have you used both systems? In my experience the FICS team is much swifter in dealing with cheaters. On FICS I will play anyone with a permanent account because abusive people are suspended within a day or two and people who disconnect in a lost position are given a loss within 1-2 weeks... bad behavior happens in about 1/100 games.

In my first win on ICC my opponent disconnected in a lost position. I messaged him immediately and then pinged adjudicate after waiting the required amount of time. After a whole month I still have not been awarded the win, and all adjudicate has done is send him polite msgs asking him to resume and advising I should either use 'noescape' (which means you take a loss if your internet connection drops during the game) or create a 'noplay list' (basically a list of all the people who have cheated me). Perhaps I will be awarded the win eventually but this is too much hassle.

For now I have switched to only playing people that I know or strongly suspect are honest on ICC.

Mon Dec 10, 02:10:00 PM PST  
Blogger Liquid Egg Product said...

Oh, my statement was completely theoretical/hypothetical. I've had zero experience with online match problems (well, except Yahoo! games, but they don't count).

Tue Dec 11, 11:37:00 AM PST  
Anonymous reassembler said...

Yet another DK post that leaves me at a loss for words :)

Wed Dec 12, 12:24:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My "favorite" negative online chess playing experience was not on ICC but Playchess (the German server, run by Chessbase, makers of Fritz).

I beat this guy whose handle was "RightofReturn." We'd had no chat before or during the game, our first, but as soon as it ended he messaged a string of cursewords at me.

Only then I really took notice of his handle, which is actually Middle East code for "Push the Jews into the sea." So I messaged him back: "Your personality matches your handle. Verbal suicidebomber?"

To which he replied: "The ovens are waiting, kike."

So I shed no tears when my Playchess subscription lapsed (you get a year free whenever you buy Fritz or any other Chessbase product).

Tue Dec 18, 10:20:00 PM PST  

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