Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Busy looking for a new job--while also working a demanding and intense job full time--but when I have the best of me, it is getting it first, and taking all my best juice... So, suffice to say, I am still around, but it is not so much that this takes hours and hours and hours (it does), as it is draining me.

Chess is a daily part of my life and in fact now, is a sweet refuge, but to talk about it--right now--is like rubbing salt into a wound. When I can sit and type, it is for job hunting. The sonic boom of sub-prime has hit building materials retail, and 'they are carrying folks out into the night and disposing of the bloody bodies' daily. It is that bad, you can hear the screams. It is true, the pain being delt out, often in the worse way in downsizing and pressure to maintain or hold rich and fat profit margins that 'workers' never will see.

I am among the one or two highest paid persons in my store out of 185 who are not managers. And now matter how I perform at the highest level a person can sustain and be, I am a prime target, and this is a dreadfull circumstance to 'have to' walk into daily.

Kind readers are reminded, that while this girl is attractive, to please also note that she is not my type, while very perfectly exemplifying a certain something to watch out for!


Anonymous Taliesin said...

Aren't you an architect? That's a crazy good skill I am in architectural school right now and it is not easy. That degree you have is worth a lot. Why not get in at a lower level in a architectural firm and work up, you will probably make more. Though the stress from what I am seeing in my internships and time spent on projects is just crazy. Is that why?

Wed Dec 12, 01:49:00 PM PST  
Blogger Wahrheit said...

Your friends and fans are pulling for you to find a satisfying situation. Thanks for informing us, the positive energies will now be flowing your way.

Wed Dec 12, 04:52:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

a name i of course instantly reCognize, as FLW or frank lloyd wright built his studio in arizona by that name.

not to offend, 'but are you kidding'?

i am so done. i am more than an architect, i am full NCARB, was a prodigy, and had an interview at a firm winning the AIA (american institute of architects) Gold Medal that year, and they said that i was

"as talented a person as they HAD EVER SEEN". but i am done.

a man said to me once:

why not go back to wall street or architecture?

i asked him: "you ever love a woman, REALLY love her?"

"of course".

"but sometimes youve truly loved a woman and never want to see her again.

i am done. i have a dent in my left forefinger from drawing. it is not fun any more. then--latter--too much PM, project management, or as Shirov said, Fire On Board. burnt.

lastly, and which you should look at very carefully: the model doesnt work. it is broken.

architects are the handmaidens of a society of plug in consummer products, technologies, and media: TMT technology, media, telecom, there is the future.

me? i am applying to the city of seattle to become a '9-11 operator' or police dispatcher. im simply the best of anyone on the phone, and i dont stress.

society is going to unravel, and i want STRATEGICALLY to be in the right place when the &^## hits the fan, as it surely will:

famine, power outages, water problems, energy problems, social upheaval.

open your eyes and think outside the box.

i studied with John Hejduk met peter eisenman, met richard meyer, the works, but the models is wrong. dont be offended, but no time to dally on this.

good luck, dk

Wed Dec 12, 06:16:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

in particular, a note from you as here truly means a lot to me.

i can feel it. i am now seeing the big picture.

and, when i engage executive recruiters, without arrogance, i am now also interviewing my prospects (as they of course, do i), and can read between the lines as a more than--by now--seasoned business person.

if they need you, they probably already have BIG PROBLEMS.

and everybody wants the best person for the cheapest--market forces!

warmest, dk

Wed Dec 12, 06:22:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

one thing taliesin
if and only if you SIMPLY MUST, THEN YOU must open your own firm, not be a part of 'them' or they will eat you alive. you must control your own enviroment to the maximum.

second, reread rule one.

three, reread rule two.

forth, if and only if then you still must, be the best, be an artist creator, but like the young lovely girls who go to NY for ballet or LA to act, how many make it? only you know if you can be this person, in the top 0.66% or one in 150.

but many wind up waiting tables or making 'other' types of movies, or having to perform certain actions to get in.

i wont. im done paying, and if i must pay, let it be for my own entity.

those are the terms that i would be an architect. age 10 to age 32 is 22 years, so can you allow me to be done now?

i was making 300k a year as a broker. another entity. got ten hours to chat? they will eat you alive. murder you for customers and do any to get what you have.

until youve ever been to your personal mail and found a regulatory envelope from the New York Stock Exchange then had your cat hit by a truck in one month AND had a spiritual teacher rip you to shreds in the weeks before infront of 70 people, you cannot judge THIS.

now i am free in my heart, and can love another and be present for others. this is the real success in life.

Wed Dec 12, 06:35:00 PM PST  
Anonymous taliesin said...

Wow. I didn't realize you've been there, done that. As I get further into it I can understand your perspective. This is a lot like going into law: few people at top being creative and getting money. Lots at the bottom kissing their butts and doing grunt work.

Very interesting perspective, and I frankly will have to think more about it. It sounds like you have seen what few have seen while escaping with their souls. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Impressed you recognized my name :)

Wed Dec 12, 07:40:00 PM PST  
Blogger happyhippo said...

David, I empathise with you and i wish the best in your job search.

I myself work pretty long hours every day and while the pay is not exactly peanuts, it's not exactly stellar either. I start at 10am and end at 7pm and this takes its toll after some time.

When i get home, i don't spend as much time with my wife as i would like to as i'm usually flat out tired.

One of my colleagues announced his resignation today and frankly, i was not the least bit surprised given the daily heavy workload we do.

My colleagues and I also have to do weekend shifts every month not because we want to but because we have to as we're part of a global operation. 24/7 support essentially.

Finishing at 7pm also results in rather stressful timings like trying to get to my chess club that's 20km away in 20 minutes or less before my competition starts at 7.30pm. My club secretary Les, has been constantly telling me to quit my job because he can see that I am struggling when I should not be.

For now, I've been telling myself to dig in and endure for another 6 months as my boss currently has been very sympathetic (his hands are tied as well) and he's been looking to hire more people to ease our workload but the nature of our work demands a high level of technical expertise that is very difficult to find (I understand what you mean by "everybody wants the best person for the cheapest") but yet he is bounded by budget constraints.

For myself, I'm adopting a wait-and-see atttitude for another 6 months but after that, who knows? I can forsee myself doing work for myself in the future but until I gather enough work experience+expertise, that plan will have to be shelved for now.

In the meantime, do take care and best of luck.

Wed Dec 12, 09:01:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

thanks folks comments above.

if no one minds, i added a video to this post earlier today, but somehow despite my every effort and care, it didnt show when I got home tonight, so add it back now,

and very much hope that the kind readers taliesin, wahrheit, and happyHippo don't miss this one, and, as such or 'be it at that', amidst a serious post...

...adds a bit of spice here and hopefully worth a revisit by you!

of course, these are almost never 'on a whim' and, like my photo selections, stored from long ago or not recently, and saved for just the right moment Quixotically in context, as is my custom :) dk

Thu Dec 13, 01:32:00 AM PST  
Blogger Liquid Egg Product said...

Good luck in your job search then! It's not something that anybody enjoys doing, and I was on the hunt a few months ago. Fortunately, my current employer has allowed me to relocate, so only had to deal with one face-to-face interview.

Your life experience and conclusions are always interesting to read. It seems that almost everyone works primarily for their self-interest, and in every interact with people, that has to be kept in mind.

Now I am aware of the name "Taliesin".

Re: Katie. While the video was undoubtedly released for its humor value, I still find the woman vaguely frightening.

Of course, she mentioned very little about what she could offer a guy, besides being marginally good-looking.

Thu Dec 13, 09:10:00 AM PST  
Blogger happyhippo said...


Are you sure she's not your type? :)

And exactly what is that "while very perfectly exemplifying a certain something to watch out for!"... hmmmm? lol.

Thu Dec 13, 11:01:00 AM PST  
Blogger Blue Devil Knight said...

I hate her, especially her voice and unapologetic narcissism. I love her hair though.

Her list is actually reasonable. I admire that she put mental stability number one. Once I started doing that my life became much happier.

Thu Dec 13, 04:59:00 PM PST  
Blogger likesforests said...

Woah, the video is one thing, but did you check out her FAQ?!

Either the world's coming to an end, or this has all happened before and it will happen again. Ever listen to Frank & Moon Zappa's 1982 hit Valley Girl?

Thu Dec 13, 10:39:00 PM PST  
Blogger Temposchlucker said...

A manual to handle the Katies of this world is found in The taming of the shrew

Fri Dec 14, 02:38:00 AM PST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the point-counterpoint to the
Katie faq.

Fri Dec 14, 11:20:00 AM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

this is a very, very good, dare i say truly great essay. thank you. once i started reading it, i couldnt stop. it is not my way, but so perfect a portrait!

i got so engrossed in this essay on "Getting Laid as often and as frequently and with as many women as possible" that i hadnt even checked yet whether Kamsky beat Shirov in game two of the finals of the world cup in Khanty-Mansiysk which i was watching till 4:45 am last night, here out west....

this link is the concommitent to the de la seven circles chess tactical improvment method for banging the opposite sex. five stars on the dk-meter. thank you. bravo! dk

Fri Dec 14, 12:44:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Jon Jacobs said...

This is Jon Jacobs. I noticed your kind words about my comment on George's ("blunderprone") blog.

Then I read your self-description here, and was about to ask for a career dialogue - I got booted out of Wall Street a year ago and am now desperate to get back in; have been literally having trouble feeding my family on the working-class wage I'm making doing coolie labor for the last year or so.

But then I read your comments in the threads, and see you're either Capt. Willard or Col. Kurtz, I'm not sure which; so it probably would be pointless to dialogue with you about how I could claw my way back into one of the careers you turned your back on. My misfortune was to have fallen in love with finance almost 15 years ago, when I was nearly 40. It's been an unrequited love - she booted me out, and won't have me back, it seems (in a paying capacity at least).

Anyway I don't have my own blog. Can I email you directly? It's odd that most of these blog sites lack a "Contact" link.

Sat Dec 15, 09:36:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

john, gladly to give that and more. i was the morgan iChoice account leader nationwide out of 12,000, and have built my own statistical-heuristical model of the spx weighting the VIX and momentum. i own QID, btw.

please eee Nail me at dkTransform at ya who dotty communist. long story, but you could have emailed me at the link at my GM classic database, but today i tried the awful yahoo beta for my home page and main yahoo, when i couldnt get back to it, so am reverting to an older yahoo from my pre-ICC and FICS chess days.

do email soon, there, if you dont mind (and prompt me here, if you dont mind pls to look 'there'), so i know to look for it, and never use that email... 2000 emails today on erections and getting bigger cleaned up in my second yahoo (again, from the old silly Y! chess days), and literally 2300 in this 3rd Y! email given to you....

so many emails on getting bigger, is that what life is all about? me? im fine just the way i am and am fully satisfied. the horror of media, the horror.

from there, i can give you my 'real' email and or telephone.

btw, did you know that im a very close friend of GM Seirawans? we email sometimes eight times a day on financial markets, if you can believe that!

to the rest of you, sorry to repeat this one more time, but John doesnt know me or what he is 'in for'.

warmest, david k

yes, im a bit of wilard, and kurtz, the sound track of which is memorized by me from college days.

USD$ ... the horror, us dollar, the horrorrrr.... the horror of in ameriKa.

Sat Dec 15, 10:39:00 PM PST  
Anonymous Jon Jacobs said...

David, I just emailed to your yahoo from.

Heh, "you" kept me up til 2 a.m. reading that PUA how-to manual, from start to finish! Oh, right, it wasn't you, it was one of your readers who posted that link. Wonderful stuff. Wish I was young enough, and unmarried enough, to make use of it.

By the way since this is your "chess improvement" blog, I hope you'll permit (and your readers might appreciate) a modest plug:

It's my article in the current Chess Life, featuring three very pretty queen sacs, if I do say so myself.

Sat Dec 15, 11:13:00 PM PST  
Blogger transformation said...

thank you jon. email recieved and replied to from my 'true email'.

lovely games linked by you above at USCF website. it would appear that you make quite a deadly chess weapon.

did you ever play charles galofre? he is also a fide master (FM) and coached me or rather guided me for quite a bit.

lastly, i remind all kind readers,that Jon came here through the single best chess blogger comment (writen by Jon) i have ever read in 1.5 years here, and can be read here: My ICC is in the Toilet the name of blunderprones recent post and--as usual--most excellent writing.

if i at times provide occassional wings to blogger chess, blunderprone more fitfully props up the chess world constantly and reliably on his mighty shoulders, held by solid if not steady legs. :)

Sun Dec 16, 01:52:00 AM PST  

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